Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize