I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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