STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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