What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize
