you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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