I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
