hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
