just come out here and I will go home with you...
are you so shy because you have an std?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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