ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
