y did u give ur computer a hand job?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
When are your genitals available?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize