oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
