I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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