That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
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