Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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