if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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