why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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