the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
