Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
