I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
too bad you live with your parents still
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
My pussy is not your playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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