those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
