You can't special order awesome
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
