Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
