It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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