The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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