There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
