Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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