I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
