His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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