Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
