Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
