South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
