then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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