me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
