His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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