She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You can't just leave with hair like that
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
