Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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