I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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