its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We had sex on a dog bed..
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
