today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
