so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize