Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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