Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
