i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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