It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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