I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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