Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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