I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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