At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
