At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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