...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I CAN MOONWALK!
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
