how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
