What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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