Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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