is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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