i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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