you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
